Heresy
by Sanic Hegehog
Summary: Sonic browses a fanwiki, and realizes how bad his fanbase can get. And he sets out to fix it.


**Based on a true story.**

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><p><em>In Sonic GT, Cream and Shadow would have romantic interests in each other, but as soon as they reveal their true feelings to each other, they and the rest of the heroes agreed to wait until Cream grew up into an adult so she could get with Shadow. Until then, the two adopted three Lumas (red, blue and green respectively) and took care of them (like Shrek and Fiona having three ogrelets). <em>

"I, I-I-I-I-I..."

As he read the fanwiki page dedicated to a fan-show-idea-thing that crossed over with at least fifty other series, Sonic's skull was pulsating in confusion and anger.

"...Bu-but _WHY?_"

It was a cool winter's morning, somewhere shortly past 3 AM. For hours now, a board was raiding a Sonic fanon wiki, and due to his morbid curiosity, he couldn't help but look at some of the pages before they were vandalized. And the more he read, the more he regretted, and the less faith he had in humanity.

"Oh my _GOOOD_." Sonic groaned, scrolling through the fanart. It was recolor after recolor after recolor. Some recolors only had strands of hair that were a different color, and BOOM, instant original character, do not steal. It pained him to see people who did this. It felt like strolling through a mental hospital; the disease filled the air, and being near its patients felt incredibly uncomfortable, fearing that their sickness would infect people, just by being near them.

But, at long last, Sonic had reached the bottom of his page. He sighed in relief, and sat back in his chair, staring off into space at the screen. He was thankful that it didn't go on. He hoped the author of it was in 4th grade, or was a kid at least. That way, they could learn how utterly stupid and painful to recall that this is when they get older. If a teen at even thirteen had conceived this idea, taking it as seriously as he does... He didn't think his heart could take the immense pressure.

He had no clue why, but his fanbase was always full of... idiots. He never had a good word for them. Nothing was powerful enough to show how he felt. What they like, their logic and the things they create... Ugh. There were SOME things he liked, he has to admit. One in every ten thousand fanfics are worth reading, and he has to say that having porn of himself and any woman he'd love to do think of is a plus, but then there's porn of himself and every person he wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, the horrendous fanfics, and don't get him started on Chris Chandler and his Sonichu. He almost blew his top when he found out about that. Now, every time he thinks of Sonichu, he envies Blaze; he just wants to see him BURN. And he thinks it would be cool to breathe fire. Can she do that? That would be badass. And with all that fire she uses all the time, shouldn't she be cooked by now? Like, safe to ea-

Wait a minute. Something's not right.

Sonic began focusing on reality again. He returned his attention to the wiki page he had hated so much, to look toward the related pages section.

And that's when he saw Sonic GT the Musical: Live in Sydney.

Sonic slammed his palms on the desk.

"GOD FUCKING DAMN IT WHY?" Sonic screamed at the monitor. "WHY ARE YOU THIS RETARDED, GO CLIMB A WALL OF DICKS, YOU FENCE FUCKING BADGER CUNT."

Sonic slammed his face down onto the desk, his hands sliding off. Why would they do this? There's gotta only be a dozen people that read this. Why would they make a fucking MUSICAL? There's has to be a law against being this retarded. He couldn't see the possibility of this person having a sane mind. It must hurt for him to live being this logically blind.

Sonic took a closer look at the image. Next to him appeared to be a hedgehogized version of Rainbow Dash. He for got My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic was involved in this clusterfuck of a crossover.

He was staring at the screen, wide eyed, fueled with anger. He just couldn't accept that people can be this fucking stupid. He was grinding his teeth, fed up with his fans. He couldn't come up with a word to describe them just the way they are. He thought that they are what they are, and people of this retarded caliber should be diagnosed with "Sonic Fan Syndrome".

The music player that he was listening to finished up playing Pumpkin Hill, and began to play Holy Wars.

Holy Wars. He remembered something he read online, about some tabletop game called Warhammer 40k. It was about these super soldiers, driven entirely by anger, with curse words written in blood and marker across their yellow and red armor, with their insignia being an angered smiley face. They weren't actually part of the universe, purely fan made. They weren't canon, but Sonic could not even begin to describe how much better these fan characters were to anything that's come from his fanbase. Well, these Angry Marines, led by the commissar Ragin' Johnny Fuklaw, called their enemies, a cult which annoyed them oh so much and had problems pronouncing and spelling words, heretics.

Heretics. That was his fanbase.

Heresy. That's what they make.

Sure, the Angry Marines are seen to hate all races that aren't inherently human, including Sonic himself, but they have a common enemy: those fursuit furries. Imagine the look on Sonic's face when it came to his attention that people actually dressed up in fursuits to pursue their fetishes. He has no sympathy for them. It's okay that they have a fetish, it's bad that they show it off, and it's at its worst when they jerk off to porn of Sonic himself. Probably toward some Sonadow image. There's more gay furries than straight ones, he swears.

By reading this page, he felt insulted. Violated. _ANGRY._

And by the Emperor he would PURGE THIS EVIL.

He clicked the "Add a Page" button.

_Article Title: Nigga the Gorilla_

Yeah.

That'll do the trick.


End file.
